A woman is wondering what to do after her husband’s best friend “basically begged” to be set up with her bestie — and then napped through their first date.
In a post shared on Reddit’s “Am I the A——“ forum on Sunday, Nov. 24, the woman explained the circumstances that led to a “huge falling out” between herself and her husband’s BFF, whom she also considers a friend.
Her husband’s pal, whom she refers to as “Liam,” has had a “massive crush” on her best friend, “Olivia,” for more than a year. As Olivia, 24, expressed a desire to move on from a “bad breakup” with her long-term boyfriend, Liam, 23, asked the original poster (OP) to set the two up.
In the OP’s words, he “basically begged me to set him up with her, saying he’d give anything to go on a date with her.”
“I genuinely like Liam and thought, like why not?” the OP wrote. “Olivia and I have been best friends since we were kids, and I want her to be happy. So, I talked to Olivia about opening herself up to dating again, and she was open to the idea.”
With the OP’s advice to “start small” and “see where it goes,” Liam set up a Saturday date night at the cinema, and “everything seemed great — until Saturday.”
“The day of the date, Liam went to a sports game in the morning and got so drunk celebrating his team’s win that he decided to take a nap at home before the date,” the OP wrote. “Well, that nap turned into him completely sleeping through their plans. Olivia went to the theater and waited 45 minutes before calling me, upset that he was a no-show.”
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The OP, her husband and some other friends went to the theater to watch with Olivia so she “wouldn’t feel stood up,” and Liam never arrived.
“Afterward, I called Liam to ask what happened, and all he could say was, ‘I was tired.’ He didn’t seem to grasp how upset Olivia was or how rude his actions were,” the OP said. “He sent a lazy apology in our group chat: ‘Damn I took a nap. I’m sorry. Can we reschedule for tomorrow?’ ”
Unsatisfied with this reaction, Olivia has been ignoring Liam since, the OP said, noting that she “can’t blame her.” Liam, meanwhile, “has been acting like he’s the victim here.”
“He keeps telling me that it’s not fair for Olivia to hold a grudge over ‘one mistake’ and that it’s ridiculous for their year-long connection to be ruined because he ‘just took a nap.’ He also thinks I’m being unfair because I told him point-blank that I’m not helping him anymore,” the OP said. “I won’t mediate, fix things with Olivia, or set him up with anyone in the future. He’s furious with me, claiming I’m being stubborn and unforgiving.”
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With her husband “stuck in the middle” — supporting Olivia but also “trying to smooth things over” with his best friend — the OP is wondering if they were “too harsh.”
“So, [am I the a——-] for refusing to help Liam anymore?” she concluded the post. “I feel like he massively disrespected my best friend, and I don’t want to put Olivia in a position to be hurt again. But now I’m wondering if I overreacted by cutting him off completely from my help and being too harsh.”
Hours after the OP shared their story, the top comments on the post all agree that she is in the right, with users calling Liam “a loser” and pointing out his hypocrisy. “He’d do anything for her…except not getting drunk on the day of the date,” one user wrote. “Yeah right.”
Others emphasized the importance of getting off on the right foot while dating, writing that, as an “old saying” goes, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
