A brother has let his sister know he does not want to be the “fun uncle.”
The man detailed on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum on Feb. 13 how he told his sibling he doesn’t plan to play the “father figure” in his nephew’s life because he “just never liked kids” and finds them to be “annoying.”
“My sister Lauren is pregnant with a boy who she is planning to name David,” he began his post. “Long story short, David’s father Bryan is a loser and my sister is not going to be getting any help from him.”
“Lauren has been talking a lot about how a boy needs a father figure, David’s going to look for mentorship in the wrong places unless family steps up and some more obvious statements that show she expects me to be the ‘fun uncle’ type with David,” the man recalled.
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Hearing this from her, he told his sister immediately how he felt about this.
“I don’t want any confusion in the future, so I told Lauren upfront how I’m not going to be the ‘fun uncle’ type or have any parental role with David,” he explained. “I’ll be polite at any family events and send a gift for his birthday/xmas but that’s it. It’s not personal.”
“I’ve just never liked kids, I find them annoying, and I don’t want to ever be responsible for one,” he emphasized.
The man revealed that Lauren then “accused me of flaking out on my own blood,” but he elaborated on how other men in their lives want to step up.
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“Bryan’s brother Andrew wants to be involved. He has two young kids who he wants David to grow up with and have a strong relationship with the cousins,” he added. “Our own brother George also wants to be involved. So I told Lauren how David has plenty of adult male figures without me.”
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“Lauren argued that hosting him for a sleepover or taking him to a museum isn’t asking the world,” he continued. “Realistically, one polite but distant uncle won’t have any negative impact on a kid, and I can’t be ‘flaking out’ of a commitment that I never agreed to take in the first place.”
Wondering if he’s in the wrong here, the man asked Redditors, “AITA [am I the a——] for being upfront about the fact that I will not be doing things with my nephew or being the fun uncle?”
Within 24 hours of posting his situation, the post has received more than 400 responses, with many readers telling him he’s “NTA [not the a——].”
“NTA. It’s not nice of her to foist this responsibility upon you, knowing how you feel about it,” one commenter wrote. “Even if you love kids, it would be wrong of her to expect your involvement as she dictates.”
Another person agreed, saying, “Your sister isn’t entitled to your time, money or whatever for a kid you had no role in bringing into this world. Not every family member needs to be a big figure in a kid’s life. He has other male figures excited to do stuff with him.”
“Lots of kids have been raised by just women and turned out great,” they added. “Hey, maybe in the future, you’ll end up forming a bond with the kid and will want to hang out with him, but being forced won’t be helpful.”
