Sarah Hyland Gives Rare Insight Into Surviving Abusive Relationship ArticlePure

Sarah Hyland is using her voice for an important and personal cause.

While accepting Variety‘s first ever Courage Award for her work in animal welfare and domestic abuse awareness, the Modern Family alum, 33, opened up about being a survivor of domestic violence and why it was important to open up about her experience.

“For thousands of years now, we didn’t talk about it,” she told Variety of enduring domestic violence. “The community hasn’t shared enough, I believe. And I feel that if we talk about it more, more women — and men and just human beings in general in abusive relationships — will feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it with their loved ones instead of letting their abuser isolate them from everyone, which is the first thing that they do, so that you don’t have that community.”

Hyland said that “talking about it” is “really important” to helping those in need. She shared how the PTSD caused by the experience often affects survivors long after ending their relationship.

“[It stays] in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people,” she added.

The actress admitted there comes a point where “you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You want it to be done, and that’s that.”

“I completely understand the dissociation pattern of it,” she explained. “I am very much guilty about it myself… until something happens where I’m triggered, and I didn’t realize that part of myself had been healed.”

Hyland said of overcoming the trauma, “I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that. It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit. It’s more so putting love towards that scar instead of hating it and ignoring it.”

In Sept. 2014, Hyland secured a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend Matt Prokop over claims he verbally and physically abused her during the course of their five-year relationship. The filing, which was obtained by PEOPLE at the time, alleged that Propkop had exhibited violent behavior, lobbed multiple threats, and at one point, attempted to choke her.

The month before the order was granted, her Modern Family costar Julie Bowen had intervened and helped Hyland end her relationship, which allegedly led to Prokop threatening to kill her dog and burn down her house.

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In a statement given to Variety, Bowen shared how proud she was of her former costar for coming out the other side despite the trauma she’s endured.

“Without adversity, there can be no way to define one’s character and sense of self,” Bowen told the outlet. “Sarah’s path has forced her, from a very early age, to take on challenges — both physical and emotional. She has met each moment with determination, grace, and vulnerability. I’m so proud that Variety is recognizing her strength and heart with the Courage Award.”

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.